سيارة جديدة

Published by on July 25th, 2015

كان من المفروض ان يكون الموضوع بسيطاً جداً ظهيرة ذاك الخميس وأنا اقوم بمهرِ إمضائي على صكّي البيع والشراء … سيارةٌ جديدةٌ وعملية تسجيلٍ وتسليم واستلام …

عفواً عزيزي القارئ فكِر مرةً أخرى فانت في #لبنان

معقب المعاملات

– بدَك تسجِلها بدون ما تتعذب وتطلع انت والسيارة؟ جوابي البديهي كان “أكيد” …

-١٠٠ دولار زيادة وانا إيجار ايدي ١٠٠ بيصيروا ٢٠٠ … عطينا مليونين دفعة عالحساب

ايمتا بتخلص السيارة يا معلم …

– الاثنين او الثلاثاء واذا لقينالَك شي رقم مميز تكرَم عينَك

ومرت نهاية الاسبوع بهدوء على ضوء ان الأمور روتينية لا أكثر

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مافيا الأرقام

مكالمة نهار الثلاثاء “ظبنالك رقم بس ناطرين ليفتحوه من الدكوانة”

وبقي الحال كذلك نهار الاربعاء والخميس لتأتي عطلة عيد الفطر ونكتشف ان المطلوب ١٥٠٠ دولار اضافي ثمن الرقم …

فكما اتضح لنا الأرقام تُعطى حسب الجدول التالي

– ٤ ارقام … بدها قرار من وزير الداخلية … وحسب قولهم الوزير موقف المحسوبيات … لوول كبيرة

– ٥ ارقام … بدها وزير او رئيس كتلة يحكي فيها … بتعرفوا لأن هيدا شي “يمس بالأمن الوطني”

– ٦ ارقام مميز … بدها نائب او شي قائد محور … بمعنى آخر “ازلام الصف التاني”

ولكن المفاجأة كانت ان رقماً مثل “١٩٢٦٢٦” يحتاج الى امضاء وموافقة رئيس القسم …

لأنه كما عرفنا بيفضل “يخدم فيه” شي مسؤول كرمال “خدمات لاحقة”

سجلنا السيارة وقلتلو للمعقب “ما بدي ولا رقم متل التاني” … وانتقلنا إلى عملية بيع السيارة القديمة

روتين المعاملات

اي عملية شراءٍ يجب ان تمر بروتين قاتلٍ … من معاينة الى دفع رسومٍ لتستطيع تسجيل السيارة في النهار التالي … ناهيكَ عن زواريب المعقبين و “تفضل ارتاح انا بظبِلك ياها” لتصبح ال “١٠٠ دولار” خلاصَك الوحيد من عذاب ملاحقة المعاملة

أضِف الى ذلك التالي … حيث اتحفني احدهم باتصال انه علي ان اتنازل عن الرقم القديم كونه “نص مميز” … “هيك قال رئيس القسم” … يا بتتنازل عن الرقم عند كاتب عدل يا بتوضعه خارج السير … المهم انه حتى كتابة هذا المقال لم تتم عملية البيع “بعد أن وقعتُ بالأمس على توقيف الرقم”

إنه حقاً لأمر محزنٌ ان ندرك الى اي مدى اصبح الفساد مستشرياً في مؤسساتنا … وكم اصبحنا كمجتمعٍ معتمـدٍ على خدمات سريعة هي أبسط حقوقنا لكن للأسف بسعرٍ مناسب

سيارةٌ جديدة … لها ألف حكاية .. لا تُحدثني عن بلاد الأرز وارقامٍٍ في بلدٍ انت رقمٌ فيه  ب ١٠٠ دولار …

Beware of your Car Kit

Published by on May 4th, 2015

Apparently not everything is crystal clear …

Definitely not what it should be or how it should be interpreted

It has emerged in the past two days with the launching of the second phase of the new traffic law in #Lebanon that using earphones and / or any Bluetooth device in the car is prohibited.

First in an interview on TV it was mentioned here (skipped to minute 1:10)

then when inquiring on twitter the issue was confirmed and labeled as

يمنع استعمال أي جهاز من اجهزة الاتصال اثناء القيادة

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For sure a misinterpretation of the law, as no other country forbids hands free devices in cars.

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That is for sure is a “محبط / محبط جدا” statement

كتيب قانون السير الجديد

Published by on April 25th, 2015

اليكم كتيب قانون السير الجديد الذي يتضمن المعلومات الأساسية وملخص لبعض المخالفات الرائجة.

يمكنكم الإطلاع على قانون السير الجديد كاملاً على الرابط التالي

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الجدير ذكره أنه لن يبدأ العمل بمخالفات مثلث التحذير وعدم وجود اطفائية قبل شهر تموز ٢٠١٥

المعلومات الأساسية

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فئات المخالفات

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بعض أنواع المخالفات الرائجة 

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فئة المشاة

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Enough Sorcery

Published by on March 30th, 2015

It does not take a genius to realize that most TV stations are trying more and more to sell us “Sorcery ideas” around the clock.

It has become a habit to host and promote for shows that insult even a new born baby’s intelligence.

No one can miss

Daily crap posted on one TV Station about aliens, extraterrestrial energies, absurd ideas, and continuous sex hints.

Weekly programs of fate inquiries. You just have to give them your name, and mother name and “Voila” you will hear one hell of a fairy tale

Monthly report of predictions where we enjoy one hour and a half of Kindergarten spelling mistakes.

– and the famous End of Year rush for “What’s next” and “Is there a light at the end of the tunnel?”

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You cannot possibly think people are that shallow …

You cannot possibly put TV hosts so astonished “عايشينها” and  attached to the act in display.

This is even dumber than the “What’s the difference” shows that simply “Steal your money”

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Please tell me

– How come the predictions are always written in “formal narrative language”

– Why do predictions come for 18-24 months? it’s not a TUNA can after all

– Why do we feel that the Guest is reading the magic stuff for the first time

– Why there is always the selling material side (for more details call me daily)

–  And Why do we allow this on air?

Boost Your Rating … By Raising Your Standards ..

Boost Your Standards … While you still have some

Mother’s Day ADs

Published by on March 18th, 2015

Now that the “House Maids” SMS rage has settled with proper action taken by Ministry of Labor, we take a look at some of the Mother’s day ADs circulating the net. We are aware that companies intentions are always good, but some marketing strategies need to be really revised

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1. A laser treatment is a good idea ahead of the summer especially it it comes with a “Gaurantee

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2. On the other hand, some things are not meant to be posted in Arabic ya “Union

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On the bright side, some great and innovative ideas were noted

3. The Sing for your mother event in Jordan City Mall

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4. The Slim&Care funny “Help Her Get back in shape” AD

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5. The Khoury Home initiative “Free Social Media Course” with every purchase

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6. and last but not least the No Garlic No Onion post

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It does not really matter how you say it everyday or on that day in particular .. Bottom line is

أن تكون لديك أم تراها صباح مساء …  فهي نعمه تستحق الحمد

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Twitter … By Walid Beik

Published by on March 16th, 2015

He has been the talk of the town ever since he joined #twitter.

No one doubts his intelligence, vision, and professionalism.

MP. Walid Joumblatt has a unique way of addressing the whole world and replying to his followers

He is straightforward, close to the people, modest, and will always dazzle and surprise you.

Below, we picked some of his tweets & replies ..

Hope a lot of our politicians can learn & maybe follow

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TWEETetkon – Issue 1

Published by on March 13th, 2015

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This is a new biweekly post that will come on Fridays.

Basically there will be a review of Lebanese tweets / discussions / trends / etc.

We won’t be arguing any specific issue, just consider this a light entrée ahead of the weekend.

The Subjects

Rima Karaki silencing an assaulting guest was by far the most discussed subject. People interacted expressing their support with the incident going viral worldwide.

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The so called “Lebanese Sisters” show debuted last weekend. Although not much can be deduced at first, but tweeps agreed on the shallow nature of the “KARDASHIAN-ized series.

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Fadl Shaker‘s interview on #LBCI sparkled a rage. The majority of the Lebanese timeline refused any discussion about the “Singer’s Repentance” before justice is served.

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#HibaTawaji performance and win over Nög in The Voice TF1 was joyfully cheered and the news was widely shared on all social networks.

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And the awful Lebanese priest video … not much to say here as the man was caught on tape harassing and seducing the reporter.

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Posts & Stories

So many interesting posts this week ..

We had the unveiling of the woman behind ALFA / TOUCH / Ogero IVR.

The revealing of the Apple Watch and re-ignition of the mobile reign war.

The 24 hour electricity Zahle news

and sadly The story of the death of Nicole Assaf and the society reaction

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Tune in next week for our new weekly review …

Here’s an eighties tune to relax your mood ahead of the weekend …

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pe7Mkn3MRY

ALFA strikes again

Published by on March 12th, 2015

It is lame .. It is not funny

I do however like the replies from @alfatelecom ..

The person in charge of the account sure has a sense of humor

Well done …

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مصطلحات طرابلسية – الجزء الثاني

Published by on March 10th, 2015

الجزء الثاني من مصطلحات طرابلسية …

موخ: ليس المقصود هنا الدماغ و لكن لقب لشخص يفكر كثيرا او لشخص يقوم باعمال القواده (تاجر حريم)

ابو قرون: موخ بالمعنى الثاني…

فعطو: ضربو… ممكن استعمالها لتعرف عن فعل شاذ

شكمو: يرجى مراجعه تفسير كلمه فعطو

جلخو: تستعمل لتهذيب المعدنيه و الحديديه و يمكن استعماله حسب تفسير كلمه فعطو

جيب اشتيروكي: جيب شيروكي

بيت خالتك: السجن او النظاره

سحسوح: كف عالرقبه

مراه فخادها مالحه: اي امراه تزوجت عده مرات و توفي ازواجها كلهم

ساقوطه: قفل الباب

اشكمونéchappement

دركسيون: direction

برومييرpremière

آرييرen arrière

كاركير زيتcarter

موستيكل: موتوسيكل

ميسكله: بسكلات

سيلما: سينما

امطروصور: amortisseur

استراد: اوتوستراد

كلاسينا: دجاج مشوي

Apple Watch – Could it be a Game Changer?

Published by on March 9th, 2015

Few more hours and the Mystery Watch will be unveiled.

The long awaited Apple Watch event will surely be scoped by everybody in search of the boons and flops.

What we already know

While not much was revealed in the September event we do know

– it is a smartwatch with its own apps and features

– it connects to the iPhone to basically “Start on the watch finish on the Phone”

– it offers new collaboration platforms (Taptic feedback)

– it has built-in health sensors for fitness tracking (Heartrate, GPS, Accelerometer)

– it extends the NFC payment platform to the palm of your hand

– and it is a fashion item

Full feature list here

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The rumors

Many rumors have leaked over the past 6 months … We had the

– price speculations (starting 350$)

– the battery dilemma (hours vs days)

– screen displays (Sapphire, retina)

– features (RAM, processor, communication mode, etc.)

What we are sure to see

As in previous events, we will definitely witness

– The evolution of Apple technology over the years

– The numerous “WHYs” attributed with the new device

– The Tim Cook “HOW” we did it, with a list of new built in apps and features

– A live demo (Eager to see the integration boundaries)

– and of course a price list and rollout plan with a fair wide range of watches

What we are looking for

Personally apart from the apps and integration part, i am looking for the the watch profiles that will be introduced.

Sure to witness many models from light and sports, to chic, class and luxurious.

Everybody at Apple is aware of the challenge ahead and that any bump would be lethal.

That is why, it has been delayed and worked out carefully.

For as much as it could be a game changer, it could also be a “Total FIASCO”

How to watch the event

The event will debut at 7:00 PM Beirut time

You can follow the Apple video stream link www.apple.com/live 

Windows: Safari 5.1.10 or later

Mac: OS X 10.6.8 onward

iPhone/iPad/iPod: iOS 6 or later

Apple TV: firmware version 6.2 or later

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